Wow, it’s been so long since I updated this and I am so, so sorry! I was going to start weekly stories and then I found myself bogged down by college and trips and I am so sorry.
So, this is going to be more of a me venting my feelings as I tell you a few things.
As you guys may have saw, about a month ago I wrote a letter to my ex on here and this guy was my last boyfriend. That letter was full of anger and sadness and I feel genuinely bad about it, but it felt good. Getting my emotions like that, full anger and just me yelling at what I pretended was him.
He never saw the letter, well if he did he sure as hell never acknowledged it but we don’t talk. Hell he has only seen me like once since we broke up but I have seen him about 20 times. Talking to people, smiling, laughing, avoiding me. It hurts, it really hurts.
I thought I was in love with, actually, I knew I was. It’s hard going from telling him everything to not even acknowledging him in the hallways. It’s hard and weird.
But I’ve slowly gotten over it and I no longer want to kiss him when I see him and I no longer want to kill him either but I don’t know where to go from here.
How do you know when you’re ready to be in a new relationship? Is it when you start having feelings for other guys, is it when you stop feeling pain, is it when you can confidently say that you know why you guys broke up?
I feel weird about it but I have started gaining feels for people, my heart has started to heal and maybe I am transferring my feelings for different people. I just have no idea what to do anymore.
I feel like I need to move on, I feel like I need to stop wanting to see him. I am pathetic, honestly. I know I need to move on and apart me has but apart me, the part that was always in love with him, that part tells me I’m not over him.
The funny thing is, our entire relationship feels like it had been a fight between my mind and my heart. My mind knew that we were not going to work out, my mind told me that we were going to break up and that we were not strong enough to make it. I think I knew it a few months before we broke up.
But there was another part of me, a part where my heart was telling me that I loved him. That anything can happen and work out because I loved him and I thought he loved me.
But hey, your mind should always overpower your heart.
The funny thing is that I came up with a story while we were dating and he heard all about it. I have a history of writing stories that were related to what was going on in my life. The White Butterfly began as my break up story. This one, Vampirian Tragedy, I didn’t think had anything to do with my life.
However, Vampirian Tragedy is essentially a story about a battle between your mind and your heart. It’s funny, really.
I think that’s why Vampirian Tragedy would have quite a bit of popularity. Everyone understands the battle between following your mind and following your heart. Disney in it’s glorious power, argues following your heart but maybe that’s not the answer here.
Maybe you’re supposed to follow your mind.
So tell me your thoughts!
Tell me should one follow their heart and their mind?
Are you following the #DisneyTheory or the #SabrinaTheory?
Can’t wait to hear what you think,